I was in my office this morning, with my mind racing with thoughts of an anxiety attack.
I was struggling to cope with the thought of an attack, I realised, and so I started to write this article.
I tried to stay calm and focused and try to be as efficient as possible.
This is when things went very wrong.
I started to feel a sense of panic in my head and I tried, but was not successful.
This was the moment when I realised the game has changed.
The anxiety was always there, and I didn’t realise it had changed until later, when I read about the study that showed that people with more anxiety experience less fear.
I was in the middle of writing this article, but I was thinking that maybe I should have written a paragraph saying, “I feel so scared that I’m going to panic”.
It would have been very useful.
In the moment I was afraid, I didn´t realise that I was acting in a way that was different to the rest of the team.
This led to a bad result.
When I started this project, I did not think that the project would end in a negative outcome.
I had to write a lot of stuff and I wanted to write well.
But now, I feel that I don´t have any control over how I behave in the game, or how I respond to other players.
I felt like I was becoming a normal person in a game.
I have to ask myself if this project was a good one.
I think this was my worst experience, because I was really trying to create something that could last, even if it didn´tt end in disaster.
I wanted the game to continue, even when I felt bad, so that I could feel better after the game was over.
The only way that I can achieve this is to not be like that.
If I try to act like I’m calm and composed, I can´t do that.
I have to find another way.
I started writing this post because I realised that I need to write the article more frequently, so I could write something positive and useful.
But then I realised how much this article could have helped me.
I am not in a rush to start the project anymore, and my thoughts are more focused on writing this positive article.
I also feel more relaxed because I don’t feel like I need a panic session anymore.
I dont feel that this game is going to get boring after a few days.
I can focus more on the game itself, and how I can improve.